Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Stories of Family History

Wow, talk about a complicated family history. My mom has told me a bit about China and my great-grandparents before but I just learned a whole lot more.

My parents are from Canton, China, a city next to Guangzhou, China. I knew they were very poor and lived in very rundown houses that couldn't even really be called houses. I went to visit China about 7 years ago and they looked more like shacks than houses. I also saw the small village where my mom lived in before she moved out into the city and man oh man was it a scene. Not in a good way. I'm sure it's gotten worst since they moved out because most of the people have moved on and only some elderly people stayed there but, it couldn't have been any better.

Awhile ago, my mom told me about what happened during the extremely hard times in China. A long time ago, maybe 40 years or so ago (guessing this since my mom said this was when she was a kid), people that owned any property or land were considered somewhat wealthy. The government would take this property away or punish the owners. My great-grandfather from my dad's side was shot to death; my great-grandfather from my mom's side was forced to kneel on broken glass and starved to death; and my grandfather from my dad's side committed suicide due to some pretty messed up personal matters.

My mom also told me that her and her sisters were bullied in school and around the village because of this "property-owning" issue. They would always be taunted by kids, getting called "property owner daughters." One of my aunts only had one shirt to wear and it was a patterned shirt. Bullies would throw stones at her and say that she was always wearing the same stupid shirt and the stupid patterns were hurting their eyes, making them dizzy. The crops that they grew were also stomped on by other people -- WHILE they were standing there. Same with peanuts and whatever snacks they had -- they would just take them...while my mom and her family where standing right there!

I'm sure there's a whole lot more ancestor history and drama to learn about..the drama hasn't even stopped now. But then again, which family doesn't have a complicated, drama-filled history? There's that saying: "You don't know what happens behind closed doors of every family."

I'm off to take a nap, considering I've been up since 4am. Then off to school again in a couple hours.

Have a great day!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Definitely....

What I did today: Slept until 11am, woke up and got ready for work. Picked up textbook from friend and worked on accounting assignment after work. Finished assignment and went for drinks and dancing in downtown..when I really should have been studying.

So after my semi-productive day, I just read through my last few blogs. I have DEFINITELY NOT been keeping up with these daily blogs and DAILYBOOTH. I don't even know if it's a good idea to be blogging right now when I'm this tipsy...

It's currently 4:45am, I should be going to sleep but I don't feel like it yet. I'm in shorts and a sleeveless top and I'm freezing. I guess this is what alcohol does to you --- you don't really act rationally.

So back to the guy topic. I think I might be crushing on someone. I think he broke up with his girlfriend not too long ago. I didn't really ask him about it. He lives in the same area as me but is currently working in another province. I honestly don't know what to do. All I can say is that these...outings..?.. makes me realize how much I want a boyfriend. Not just someone with the "title" of a "boyfriend", but an actual one. I'm probably not making sense but OH WELL, I'm just going to use alcohol as an excuse. I guess I'll just have to see how it goes in the future. Will there be any guys part of my life....or not?

On the other hand, I should really start focusing on school since it's the second month in already. I have 2 midterms next week and I really haven't started studying for them yet. My goal for this week now that I've got my partying out of the way: Study and get a decent grade on my 2 midterms on Wednesday.

Alright, it's now 5am..I should REALLY get ready for bed since I have work tomorrow as well.

I hope I have better luck with guys...soon. I'll post an update on that and anything else in my life whenever I don't feel too lazy. :P

Good night!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

A Wednesday Night

So I went out for drinks with a guy friend tonight. Sometimes it seems like he's interested, sometimes not. Really frustrating . Currently texting him as I'm blogging as well haha. Anyways just wanted to say I don't know what to do. I'm so tired and the alcohol didn't help. I only had 5 hours and a bit of sleep last night.

To update on my last blog. I managed to complete 1.5 to 2 of the tasks on my to-do list: laundry and hw.

Good night!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Procrastination

Oh procrastination how you love to ruin my life!

So once again I'm blogging in my bed. Today's blog will be about how procrastination basically takes over my life. Every single time I get home from school there are readings and/or assignments to do. I always say to myself I should start doing them soon or at least start on them. But what do I do instead? Procrastinate of course! Same thing with other things I have to do. I would make a "to-do" list and end up only crossing off a couple of them. I usually do anything and everything but what I'm suppose to. Like...watching videos on YouTube or watching other shows. Both Chinese and English! Sometimes even Korean or Japanese! I am so terrible at keeping myself on track. I think I definitely lack motivation and self-discipline. I honestly don't know how to change my way of doing things. Maybe I should attend some workshops or something.

Oh and an example of how horrible I am? I skipped class this morning because I didn't finish the accounting assignment that was suppose to be handed in today. I only have TWO days of school a week (Mondays and Wednesdays). Usually I'd have to work 4 days but this week I only had to work ONE day! I had so much time to do my homework but instead I watched videos and shows on the internet. I did do some of the readings but wasted most of my time doing not-so-productive things.

Alright. Tomorrow I'm going to try really hard to be productive. My to-do list for tomorrow is as follows:

1. Do the laundry
2. Go to the gym or walk the dog if it's not raining
3. Do homework and possibly some readings

Oh and something I've REALLY been putting off..

4. Renew passport

Let's see how far I get with a list of only FOUR things.

Maybe I'll update tomorrow on here about how I did if I don't procrastinate this as well. :/

Good night!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Boys...

I'm typing this in my bed on my phone at 3 in the morning. Why am I not asleep yet? Well I fell asleep at 11 and woke up half an hour ago so I decided to post another random blog. Today's will be about guys and why I don't have one yet.

I can say I haven't actually had a real boyfriend yet. I had one back in high school but I don't think that one really counts. I used to think it was because I'm ugly.. but I'm happy to say that way of thinking has changed. I know I'm not gorgeous but I'm not ugly. My best friend says maybe it's because I'm too picky. I don't think so. She also thinks I don't put myself out there enough. I don't think so either. So then why am I still single? I have no idea. I've had a person say maybe I intimidate guys. He said it was because I'm pretty so guys are afraid to come up to me. Or they would figure I already have a boyfriend because I'm so pretty. Haha he sure made me laugh. It was really nice of him to say that though.

Sometimes I'd see couples together and wish I had a boyfriend. Sometimes I'd hear my friends complain about their relationships and I'd be glad I'm single. Other times I'm indifferent. But mostly I wish I had someone just be there..to hold me and care about me. Sometimes I think I should make the first move, but it's so hard. I'm not really that outgoing. I'm better than before but I'm still kinda shy at times. This may sound stupid but I'm kind of traditional in the sense that guys should make the first move. I know they appreciate it when girls step up and make that initial move. But still... it's easier said than done.

Maybe I'll try harder the next time I go out and see a guy I like. I'll make eye contact and give him a smile. I'll never know unless I try right? I'm going to keep on believing and hoping that things will turn out alright in the end. :)

Good night.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

My First Blog....Ever?

Alright, so I think this might be my first official blog ever. I had one back in high school called "Xanga" or something, but I don't think that actually counts. I guess I'll see if I can keep this going...since I have enough trouble keeping up with my homework and readings for school already. :/

I highly doubt many people will read this, if any at all. My life isn't really interesting. I could even say boring. I think I might just use this blog to ramble on about things I can't or don't want to tell people I know.There's so many things going on in my head right now, but I don't know how to put it into words. Even if I do, it'd just be a whole bunch of random things. Maybe I should just do that...type whatever I'm thinking about onto here. It is called "My Random Thoughts" after all.

I think I'll start with my spending haha. I'm a full-time university student, working part-time right now and I'm spending way more than I'm making. That's where credit cards come in right? WRONG. Such a bad idea. I really think I should cut up my credit card, but that "cash rebate" idea is so tempting! Even though it's not much I get back, it's still better than nothing right? I'm not at the state where I'm leaving my balances unpaid...yet (I'd be really screwed then since the interest is quite high), but I think it might lead there at some point. Maybe I should just learn how to control my spending... I'm not as bad as some other people I know. My friend is even more broke than me and she's still spending. :/ I know I shouldn't say that because it's not like it'll make my situation any better. But..it kinda makes me feel a bit better about myself. Ahhh, I'm so bad. No. More. Irrational. Unnecessary. Purchases!

That's it for tonight. It's currently 2am and I'm getting sleepy. And I'm breaking out...again.

"Don't stop believing, hold on to that feeling." That song from Glee just suddenly popped into my head. Random much?

Good night!